Eph 5:22-33 | Barnes | STEP | Verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands . On this passage, , also . The duty of the submission of the wife to her husband is everywhere enjoined in the Scriptures. See . While Christianity designed to elevate the character of the wife, and to make her a fit companion of an intelligent and pious husband, it did not intend to destroy all subordination and authority. Man, by the fact that he was first created; that the woman was taken from him; that he is better qualified for ruling than she is, is evidently designed to be at the head of the little community that constitutes a family. In many other things woman may be his equal; in loveliness, and grace, and beauty, and tenderness, and gentleness, she is far his superior; but these are not the qualities adapted for government. Their place is in another sphere; and there , man should be as cautious about invading her prerogative, or abridging her liberty, as she should be about invading the prerogative that belongs to him. In every family there should be a head--some one who is to be looked up to as the counsellor and the ruler; some one to whom all should be subordinate. God has given that prerogative to man; and no family prospers where that arrangement is violated. Within proper metes and limits, therefore, it is the duty of the wife to obey, or to submit herself to her husband. Those limits are such as the following: 1. In domestic arrangements, the husband is to be regarded as the head of the family; and he has a right to direct as to the style of living, the expenses of the family, the clothing, etc. 2. In regard to the laws which are to regulate the family, he is the head. It is his to say what is to be done; in what way the children are to employ themselves, and to give directions in regard to their education, etc. 3. In business matters, the wife is to submit to the husband. She may counsel with him, if he chooses; but the affairs of business and property are under his control, and must be left at his disposal. 4. In everything, except that which relates to conscience and religion , he has authority. But there his authority ceases. He has no right to require her to commit an act of dishonesty, to connive at wrong-doing, to visit a place of amusement which her conscience tells her is wrong, nor has he a right to interfere with the proper discharge of her religious duties. He has no right to forbid her to go to church at the proper and usual time, or to make a profession of religion when she pleases. He has no right to forbid her endeavouring to exercise a religious influence over her children, or to endeavour to lead them to God. She is bound to obey God, rather than any man, and when even a husband interferes in such cases, and attempts to control her, he steps beyond his proper bounds, and invades the prerogative of God, and his authority ceases to be binding. It ought to be said, however, that in order to justify her acting independently in such a case, the following things are proper: (1.) It should be really a case of conscience--a case where the Lord has plainly required her to do what she proposes to do--and not a mere matter of whim, fancy, or caprice. (2.) When a husband makes opposition to the course which a wife wishes to pursue in religious duties, it should lead her to re-examine the matter, to pray much over it, and to see whether she cannot, with a good conscience, comply with his wishes. (3.) If she is convinced that she is right, she should still endeavour to see whether it is not possible to win him to her views, and to persuade him to accord with her, see . It is possible that, if she does right, he may be persuaded to do right also. (4.) If she is constrained, however, to differ from him, it should be with mildness and gentleness. There should be no reproach, and no contention. She should simply state her reasons, and leave the event to God. (5.) She should, after this, be a better wife, and put forth more and more effort to make her husband and family happy. She should show that the effect of her religion has been to make her love her husband and children more; to make her more and more attentive to her domestic duties, and more and more kind in affliction. By a life of pure religion, she should aim to secure what she could not by her entreaties--his consent that she should live as she thinks she ought to, and walk to heaven in the path in which she believes that her Lord calls her. While, however, it is to be conceded that the husband has authority over the wife, and a right to command in all cases that do not pertain to the conscience, it should be remarked, (1.) that his command should be reasonable and proper. (2.) He has no right to require anything wrong, or contrary to the will of God. (3.) WHERE COMMANDS BEGIN in this relation , HAPPINESS USUALLY ENDS; and the moment a husband requires a wife to do anything, it is usually a signal of departing or departed affection and peace. When there are proper feelings in both parties in this relation, there will be no occasion either to command or to obey. There should be such mutual love and confidence, that the known wish of the husband should be a law to the wife; and that the known desires of the wife should be the rule which he would approve. A perfect government is that where the known wish of the lawgiver is a sufficient rule to the subject. Such is the government of heaven; and a family on earth should approximate as nearly as possible to that. As unto the Lord . As you would to the Lord, because the Lord requires it, and has given to the husband this authority. (a) "submit"

Ephesians 5:22-33

Verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands. On this passage, 1Cor 11:3, also 1Cor 11:4-9. The duty of the submission of the wife to her husband is everywhere enjoined in the Scriptures. See 1Pet 3:1, Col 3:18, Tit 2:5. While Christianity designed to elevate the character of the wife, and to make her a fit companion of an intelligent and pious husband, it did not intend to destroy all subordination and authority. Man, by the fact that he was first created; that the woman was taken from him; that he is better qualified for ruling than she is, is evidently designed to be at the head of the little community that constitutes a family. In many other things woman may be his equal; in loveliness, and grace, and beauty, and tenderness, and gentleness, she is far his superior; but these are not the qualities adapted for government. Their place is in another sphere; and there, man should be as cautious about invading her prerogative, or abridging her liberty, as she should be about invading the prerogative that belongs to him. In every family there should be a head--some one who is to be looked up to as the counsellor and the ruler; some one to whom all should be subordinate. God has given that prerogative to man; and no family prospers where that arrangement is violated. Within proper metes and limits, therefore, it is the duty of the wife to obey, or to submit herself to her husband. Those limits are such as the following:

1. In domestic arrangements, the husband is to be regarded as the head of the family; and he has a right to direct as to the style of living, the expenses of the family, the clothing, etc.

2. In regard to the laws which are to regulate the family, he is the head. It is his to say what is to be done; in what way the children are to employ themselves, and to give directions in regard to their education, etc.

3. In business matters, the wife is to submit to the husband. She may counsel with him, if he chooses; but the affairs of business and property are under his control, and must be left at his disposal.

4. In everything, except that which relates to conscience and religion, he has authority. But there his authority ceases. He has no right to require her to commit an act of dishonesty, to connive at wrong-doing, to visit a place of amusement which her conscience tells her is wrong, nor has he a right to interfere with the proper discharge of her religious duties. He has no right to forbid her to go to church at the proper and usual time, or to make a profession of religion when she pleases. He has no right to forbid her endeavouring to exercise a religious influence over her children, or to endeavour to lead them to God. She is bound to obey God, rather than any man, Acts 4:19 and when even a husband interferes in such cases, and attempts to control her, he steps beyond his proper bounds, and invades the prerogative of God, and his authority ceases to be binding. It ought to be said, however, that in order to justify her acting independently in such a case, the following things are proper:

(1.) It should be really a case of conscience--a case where the Lord has plainly required her to do what she proposes to do--and not a mere matter of whim, fancy, or caprice.

(2.) When a husband makes opposition to the course which a wife wishes to pursue in religious duties, it should lead her to re-examine the matter, to pray much over it, and to see whether she cannot, with a good conscience, comply with his wishes.

(3.) If she is convinced that she is right, she should still endeavour to see whether it is not possible to win him to her views, and to persuade him to accord with her, see 1Pet 3:1. It is possible that, if she does right, he may be persuaded to do right also.

(4.) If she is constrained, however, to differ from him, it should be with mildness and gentleness. There should be no reproach, and no contention. She should simply state her reasons, and leave the event to God.

(5.) She should, after this, be a better wife, and put forth more and more effort to make her husband and family happy. She should show that the effect of her religion has been to make her love her husband and children more; to make her more and more attentive to her domestic duties, and more and more kind in affliction. By a life of pure religion, she should aim to secure what she could not by her entreaties--his consent that she should live as she thinks she ought to, and walk to heaven in the path in which she believes that her Lord calls her. While, however, it is to be conceded that the husband has authority over the wife, and a right to command in all cases that do not pertain to the conscience, it should be remarked,

(1.) that his command should be reasonable and proper.

(2.) He has no right to require anything wrong, or contrary to the will of God.

(3.) WHERE COMMANDS BEGIN in this relation, HAPPINESS USUALLY ENDS; and the moment a husband requires a wife to do anything, it is usually a signal of departing or departed affection and peace. When there are proper feelings in both parties in this relation, there will be no occasion either to command or to obey. There should be such mutual love and confidence, that the known wish of the husband should be a law to the wife; and that the known desires of the wife should be the rule which he would approve. A perfect government is that where the known wish of the lawgiver is a sufficient rule to the subject. Such is the government of heaven; and a family on earth should approximate as nearly as possible to that.

As unto the Lord. As you would to the Lord, because the Lord requires it, and has given to the husband this authority.

(a) "submit" 1Pet 3:1, Col 3:18 Verse 23. For the husband is the head of the wife. 1Cor 11:3.

As Christ is the head of the church. As Christ rules over the church, and has a right to direct and control it.

And he is the saviour of the body. That is, of the church, represented as his body. Eph 1:23. The idea here seems to be, that as Christ gave himself to save his body, the church; as he practised self-denial, and made it an object of intense solicitude to preserve that church, so ought the husband to manifest a similar solicitude to make his wife happy, and to save her from want, affliction, and pain. He ought to regard himself as her natural protector; as bound to anticipate and provide for her wants; as under obligation to comfort her in trial, even as Christ does the church. What a beautiful illustration of the spirit which a husband should manifest is the care which Christ has shown for his "bride," the church, Eph 5:25; also Eph 5:26-29. Verse 24. In every thing. In everything which is not contrary to the will of God. Eph 1:23. Verse 25. Husbands, love your wives. The duty of the wife is to obey; the right of the husband is to command. But the apostle would guard against the abuse of that right by enjoining the manifestation of such a spirit on the husband as would secure obedience on the part of the wife. He proceeds, therefore, to show that the husband, in all his intercourse with the wife, should manifest the same spirit which the Lord Jesus did towards the church; or, in other words, he holds up the conduct of the Redeemer towards the church as the model for a husband to imitate. If a husband wished a rule that would be short, simple, clear, and efficacious, about the manner in which he should regard and treat his wife, he could not find a better one than that here suggested.

Even as Christ loved the Church. This was the strongest love that has ever been evinced in this world. It follows, that a husband is in no danger of loving his wife too much, provided she be not loved more than God. We are to make the love which Christ had for the church the model.

And gave himself for it. Gave himself to die to redeem it. The meaning here is, that husbands are to imitate the Redeemer in this respect. As he gave himself to suffer on the cross to save the church, so we are to be willing to deny ourselves and to bear toil and trial, that we may promote the happiness of the wife. It is the duty of the husband to toil for her support; to provide for her wants; to deny himself of rest and ease, if necessary, in order to attend on her in sickness; to go before her in danger; to defend her if she is in peril; and to be ready to die to save her. Why should he not be? If they are shipwrecked, and there is a single plank on which safety can be secured, should he not be willing to place her on that, and see her safe at all hazards to himself? But there may be more implied in this than that a man is to toil, and even to lay down his life for the welfare of his wife. Christ laid down his life to save the church; and a husband should feel that it should be one great object of his life to promote the salvation of his wife. He is bound so to live as not to interfere with her salvation, but so as to promote it in every way possible. He is to furnish her all the facilities that she may need, to enable her to attend on the worship of God; and to throw no obstacles in her way. He is to set her the example; to counsel her if she needs counsel; and to make the path of salvation as easy for her as possible. If a husband has the spirit and self-denial of the Saviour, he will regard no sacrifice too great if he may promote the salvation of his family.

(*) "gave himself" "gave up himself" Verse 26. That he might sanctify. The great object of the Redeemer was to purify and save the church. The meaning here is, that a husband is to manifest similar love towards his wife, and a similar desire that she should be prepared to "walk before him in white."

And cleanse it with the washing of water. In all this there is an allusion, doubtless, to the various methods of purifying and cleansing those who were about to be married, and who were to be united to monarchs as their brides. In some instances this previous preparation continued for twelve months. The means of purification were various, but consisted usually in the use of costly unguents. See Est 2:12--"Six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with sweet odours, and with other things for the purifying of women." Comp. Ps 45:13,14, Eze 16:7-14. As such a virgin was purified and prepared for her husband by washing and by anointing, so the church is to be prepared for Christ. It is to be made pure and holy. Outwardly there is to be the application of water--the symbol of purity; and within there is to be holiness of heart. 2Cor 11:2, where Paul says of the Corinthians, "I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ."

By the word. There has been much diversity of opinion respecting the meaning of this. Probably the sense of the expression is, that all this was to be accomplished by the instrumentality of the truth --the word of God. By that truth they were to be sanctified, Jn 17:17; and in accordance with that the whole work, from the commencement to the dose, was to be accomplished. It was not by external ceremonies, and not by any miraculous power on the heart, but by the faithful application of truth to the heart.

(a) "of water" Tit 3:5 Verse 27. That he might present it to himself. In the last day, when he shall receive the church as his spouse to heaven, Rev 21:9. Perhaps the word prepare would better express the sense here than present--that he may prepare it for himself as a holy church. Tindal renders it, "to make it unto himself."

A glorious Church. A church full of honour, splendour, beauty. The idea of shining, or of being bright, would convey the sense here. Probably there is still here an allusion to a bride "adorned for her husband," Rev 21:2, Ps 45:9-14; and the idea is, that the church will be worthy of the love of the Bridegroom, to whom it will then be presented.

Not having spot. Not having a stain, a defect, or any impurity--still retaining the allusion to a bride, and to the care taken to remove every blemish.

Or wrinkle. In the rigour and beauty of youth; like a bride in whom here is no wrinkle of age.

Or any such thing. Nothing to deform, disfigure, or offend. To this beautiful illustration of the final glory of the church, the apostle was led by the mention of the relation of the husband and the wife. It shows

(1.) the tendency of the thoughts of Paul. He delighted to allow the associations in his mind, no matter what the subject was, to draw him along to the Redeemer.

(2.) The passage here shows us what the church will yet be. There will be a period in its history when there shall not be any imperfection; when there shall be neither spot, nor wrinkle, nor any such thing. In heaven all will be pure. On earth we are preparing for that world of purity; and it cannot be denied that here there is much that is imperfect and impure. But in that future world, where the church shall be presented to Christ, clothed in the robes of salvation, there shall not be one unholy member, one deceiver or hypocrite, one covetous or avaricious man, one that shall pain the hearts of the friends of purity by an unholy life. And in all the millions that shall be gathered there out of every land, and people, and tongue, and age, there shall be no envy malice, backbiting, pride, vanity, worldliness; there shall be no annoying and vexing conflict in the heart with evil passions, "nor any such thing." How different from the church as it is now; and how we should pant for that blessed world!

(b) "it to himself" Jude 1:24 (c) "or wrinkles" Song 4:7 Verse 28. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. Because they are one flesh, Eph 5:31. This is the subject on which Paul had been speaking, and from which he had been diverted by the allusion to the glorified church. The doctrine here is, that a husband should have the same care for the comfort of his wife which he has. for himself. He should regard her as one with himself; and as he protects his own body from cold and hunger, and, when sick and suffering, endeavours to restore it to health, so he should regard and treat her.

He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

(1.) Because she is one with him, and their interests are identified.

(2.) Because, by this, he really promotes his own welfare, as much as he does when he takes care of his own body. A man's kindness to his wife will be more than repaid by the happiness which she imparts; and all the real solicitude which he shows to make her happy, will come to more than it costs. If a man wishes to pro- mote his own happiness in the most effectual way, he had better begin by showing kindness to his wife.

(*) "men" "husbands" Verse 29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh. This is urged as an argument why a man should love his wife, and show kindness to her. As no man disregards the happiness of his own body, or himself, so he should show equal care to promote the happiness of his wife. A sentiment similar to this is found in the classic writers. Thus Curtius (lib. vii ) says, Corporibus nostris quea utique non odimus--" We do not hate those things that pertain to our own bodies." So Seneca, (Epis. 14,) Fateor insitam nobis esse corporia nostri charitatem--" I confess that there is implanted in us the love of our own body." The word nourishment here means, properly, to bring up, as, e.g., children. The sense here is, that he provides for it, and guards it from exposure and want. The word cherisheth θαλπει means, properly, to warm; and may mean here that he defends it from cold by clothing--and the two expressions denote mat he provides food and raiment for the body. So he is to do for his wife; and in like manner the Lord Jesus regards the church, and ministers to its spiritual necessities. But this should not be spiritualized too far. The general idea is all that we want--that Christ has a tender concern for the wants of the church, as a man has for his own body, and that the husband should show a similar regard for his wife. Verse 30. For we are members of his body. Of the body of Christ. 1Cor 11:3; 1Cor 12:27; Jn 15:1; also Jn 15:2-6; Eph 1:23. The idea here is, that there is a close and intimate union between the Christian and the Saviour--a union so intimate that they may be spoken of as one.

Of his flesh, and of his bones. There is an allusion here evidently to the language which Adam used respecting Eve, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh," Gen 2:23. It is language which is employed to denote the closeness of the marriage relation, and which Paul applies to the connexion between Christ and his people. Of course, it cannot be understood literally. It is not true, literally, that our bones are a part of the bones of Christ, or our flesh of his flesh; nor should language ever be used that would imply a miraculous union. It is not a physical union, but a union of attachment, of feeling, of love. If we avoid the notion of a physical union, however, it is scarcely possible to use too strong language in describing the union of believers with the Lord Jesus. The Scriptures make use of language which is stronger than that employed to describe any other connexion; and there is no union of affection so powerful as that which binds the Christian to the Saviour. So strong is it, that he is willing for it to forsake father, mother, and home; to leave his country, and to abandon his possessions; to go to distant lands, and dwell among barbarians, to make the Redeemer known; or to go to the cross or the stake from simple love to the Saviour. Account for it as men may, there has been manifested on earth nowhere else so strong an attachment as that which binds the Christian to the cross. It is stronger love than that which a man has for his own flesh and bones; for it makes him willing that his flesh should be consumed by fire, or his bones broken on the wheel, rather than deny him. Can the infidel account for this strength of attachment on any other principle than that it has a Divine origin ?

(d) "of his body" 1Cor 12:27 Verse 31. For this cause. αντιτουτου. This verse is a quotation from Gen 2:24, and contains the account of the institution of marriage. The meaning of the phrase rendered "for this cause," is, "answerably to this;" or corresponding to this--that is, to what Paul had just said of the union of believers and the Redeemer. On the meaning of this verse, Mt 19:6. There is no evidence that the marriage connexion was originally designed to symbolize or typify this union, but it may be used to illustrate that connexion, and to show the strength of the attachment be- tween the Redeemer and his people. The comparison should be confined, however, strictly to the use made of it in the New Testament.

(a) "shall a man leave" Gen 2:24 (*) "unto" "cleave to" (b) "shall be one flesh" 1Cor 6:16 Verse 32. This is a great mystery. The Latin Vulgate translates this, sacramenturn hoc magnum est--" this is a great sacrament"--and this is the proof, I suppose, and the only proof adduced by the Papists, that marriage is a sacrament. But the original here conveys no such idea. The word mystery--μυστηριον--means something which is concealed, hidden, before unknown; something into which one must be initiated or instructed before he can understand it. It does not mean that it is incomprehensible when it is disclosed, but that hitherto it, has been kept secret. When disclosed it may be as intelligible as any other truth. See the word explained Eph 1:9. Here it means, simply, that there was much about the union of the Redeemer with his people resembling the marriage connexion, which was not obvious, except to those who were instructed; which was obscure to those who were not initiated; which they did not understand who had not been taught. It does not mean that no one could understand it, but that it pertained to the class of truths into which it was necessary for one to be initiated in order to comprehend them. The truth that was so great a mystery was, that the eternal Son of God should form such an union with men; that he should take them into a connexion with himself, implying all ardour of attachment, and a strength of affection, superior to even that which exists in the marriage relation. This was a great and profound truth, to understand which it was necessary to receive instruction. No one would have understood it without a revelation; no one understands it now except they who are taught of God.

But I speak concerning Christ and the Church. This, it seems to me, is an explicit disclaimer of any intention to be understood as affirming that the marriage contract was designed to be a type of the union of the Redeemer and his people. The apostle says expressly, that his remarks do not refer to marriage at all when he speaks of the mystery. They refer solely to the union of the Redeemer and his people. How strange and unwarranted, therefore, are all the comments of expositors on this passage designed to explain marriage as a mysterious type of the union of Christ and the church! If men would allow the apostle to speak for himself, and not force on him sentiments which he expressly disclaims, the world would be saved from such insipid allegories as Macknight and others have derived from this passage. The Bible is a book of sense; and the time will come, it is hoped, when, freed from all such allegorizing expositions, it will commend itself to the good sense of mankind. Marriage is an important, a holy, a noble, a pure institution, altogether worthy of God; but it does not thence follow that marriage was designed to be a type of the union between Christ and the church, and it is certain that the apostle Paul meant to teach no such thing.

(+) "mystery" "secret" Verse 33. Nevertheless. The apostle here resumes the subject which he had been discussing in Eph 5:21-29, and says that it was the duty of every man to love his wife as he did himself. This was the main topic, from which he had been directed by the discussion respecting the love which the Redeemer had shown for his church.

And the wife see that she reverence her husband. The word "see" is supplied by our translators. The meaning is, that it was the especial duty of the wife to show respect for her husband as the head of the family, and as set over her in the Lord. Eph 5:22, Eph 5:23. The word rendered reverence, is that which usually denotes fear--φοβηται. She is to fear, i.e., to honour, respect, obey the will of her husband. It is, of course, not implied that it is not also her duty to love her husband, but that there should be no usurping of authority; no disregard of the arrangement which God has made; and that order and peace should be secured in a family by regarding the husband as the source of law.

From what is here said of the duties of husband and wife we may remark:--

(1.) That the happiness of society depends on just views of the marriage relation. It is true the world over, that the views which prevail in regard to this relation, determine everything in reference to all other relations of life, and to all other sources of enjoyment.

(2.) God designed that woman should occupy a subordinate, though an important place in the relations of social life. This arrangement is never disregarded without evils which cannot be corrected until the original intention is secured. No imaginary good that can come out of the violation of the original design; no benefits which females, individual or associated, can confer on mankind by disregarding this arrangement, can be a compensation for the evil that is done, nor can the evil be remedied unless woman occupies the place which God designed she should fill. There nothing else can supply her place; and when she is absent from that situation--no matter what good she may be doing elsewhere --there is a silent evil reigning, which can be removed only by her return. It is not hers to fight battles, or to command armies and navies, or to control kingdoms, or to make laws. Nor is it hers to go forward as a public leader even in enterprises of benevolence, or in associations designed to act on the public mind. Her empire is the domestic circle; her first influence is there; and in connexion with that, in such scenes as she can engage in without trenching on the prerogative of man, or neglecting the duty which she owes to her own family.

(3.) It is not best that there should be the open exercise of authority in a family. When commands begin in the relation of husband and wife, happiness flies; and the moment a husband is disposed to COMMAND his wife, or is under a necessity of doing it that moment he may bid adieu to domestic peace and joy.

(4.) A wife, therefore, should never give her husband occasion to command her to do anything, or to forbid anything. His known wish, except in cases of conscience, should be law to her. The moment she can ascertain what his will is, that moment ought to settle her mind as to what is to be done.

(5.) A husband should never wish or expect anything that it may not be perfectly proper for a wife to render. He, too, should consult her wishes; and when he understands what they are, he should regard what she prefers as the very thing which he would command. The known wish and preference of a wife, unless there be something wrong in it, should be allowed to influence his mind, and be that which he directs in the family.

(6.) There is no danger that a husband will love a wife too much, provided his love be subordinate to the love of God. The command is, to love her as Christ loved the church. What love has ever been like that? How can a husband exceed it? What did not Christ endure to redeem the church? So should a husband be willing to deny himself to promote the happiness of his wife; to watch by her in sickness, and, if need be, to peril health and life to promote her welfare. Doing this, he will not go beyond what Christ did for the church. He should remember that she has a special claim of justice on him. For him she has left her father's home, forsaken the friends of her youth, endowed him with whatever property she may have, sunk her name in his, confided her honour, her character, and her happiness, to his virtue; and the least that he can do for her is to love her, and strive to make her happy. This was what she asked when she consented to become his; and a husband's love is what she still asks to sustain and cheer her in the trials of life. If she has not this, whither shall she go for comfort?

(7.) We may see, then, the guilt of those husbands who withhold their affections from their wives, and forsake those to whom they had solemnly pledged themselves at the altar; those who neglect to provide for their wants, or to minister to them in sickness; and those who become the victims of intemperance, and leave their wives to tears. There is much, much guilt of this kind on earth. There are many, many broken vows. There are many, many hearts made to bleed. There is many a pure and virtuous woman, who was once the object of tender affection, now, by no fault of hers, forsaken, abused, broken-hearted, by the brutal conduct of a husband.

(8.) Wives should manifest such a character as to be worthy of love. They owe this to their husbands. They demand the confidence and affection of man; and they should show that they are worthy of that confidence and affection. It is not possible to love that which is unlovely, nor to force affection where it is undeserved; and, as a wife expects that a husband will love her more than he does any other earthly being, it is but right that she should evince such a spirit as shall make that proper. A wife may easily alienate the affections of her partner in life. If she is irritable and fault-finding; if none of his ways please her; if she takes no interest in his plans, and in what he does; if she forsakes her home when she should be there, and seeks happiness abroad; or, if at home, she never greets him with a smile; if she is wasteful of his earnings, and extravagant in her habits, it will be impossible to prevent the effects of such a course of life on his mind. And when a wife perceives the slightest evidence of alienated affection in her husband, she should inquire at once whether she has not given occasion for it, and exhibited such a spirit as tended inevitably to produce such a result.

(9.) To secure mutual love, therefore, it is necessary that there should be mutual kindness, and mutual loveliness of character. Whatever is seen to be offensive or painful should be at once abandoned. All the little peculiarities of temper and modes of speech that are observed to give pain should be forsaken; and while one party should endeavour to tolerate them, and not to be offended, the other should make it a matter of conscience to remove them.

(10.) The great secret of conjugal happiness is in the cultivation of a proper temper. It is not so much in the great and trying scenes of life that the strength of virtue is tested; it is in the events that are constantly occurring; the manifestation of kindness in the things that are happening every moment; the gentleness that flows along every day, like the stream that winds through the meadow and around the farm-house, noiseless but useful, diffusing fertility by day and by night. Great deeds rarely occur. The happiness of life depends little on them, but mainly on the little acts of kindness in life. We need them everywhere; we need them always. And eminently in the marriage relation there is need of gentleness and love, returning each morning, beaming in the eye, and dwelling in the heart through the livelong day.